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I opened my blog up, and the thought came to my mind of welcoming an old friend.  My little corner piece of sanity. 
I can't think of a title that would fit this because it's just a jumble of random thoughts.  On last Sunday as I walked in the bitter Italian cold I thought about the rampant pigeon problem here.  The pigeons are so abundant, and so tame that one could literally bend down and pick one up without much difficulty.  As I walk on the streets, pigeons are galore and I could kick one before it made up its mind that it should fly away. 
Yesterday morning I felt completely free.  I left the house and walked past the bus stop and further down.  A little piece of myself came into clarity.  I enjoy walking especially when it resolves my stress.  I haven't slept, and truly slept for a while.  It doesn't matter how early I go to bed or taking Zanix, I still awake to a little anxiety and tiredness. 
Also two things.  The first being when in doubt buy some pastries.  Because it will cheer you up, and it also buys you time to think.  Secondly don't question it, it's an Italian thing just nod your head and go with it. 
On Tuesday all the pastry shops in Trento had come into cahoots to utterly embarrass me.  Luckily for me, I also know when to just walk away.  When in doubt walk away.  I haven't been in a pastry shop since.  Tomorrow maybe I'll brave one to see if I'm allowed in or not.  (A BRIEF EXPLANATION)  I tried to go into a pastry shop, the first time I couldn't figure out how to open the door.  There were other customers inside who gawked at me awkwardly, but none went to my aid.  After trying to push the handle-less door the second time I gave up and walked away with my face flushed.  The second time that same day only a couple blocks away in a nook in the wall pastry shop.  I braved the door, and went inside.  After trying to say a number for the small pastries, the lady filled up a plate with huge pastries.  These were not the usual that I buy but I shrugged my shoulder.  At least I made it inside the shop this time right?  Wrong!  After weighing the delicious pastries, she told me the price.  It was quite a bit higher than I'm use to for pastries.  But I handed her my card.  Which she shook her head, cash only.  Well, what to do, I mumbled sorry.  Then walked out the door leaving her standing there. 
Today I wish for something other than peanut butter, which I still really want.  I wish my mom was here laughing with me or at me.  That we could go together to be silly Americans.